Favorite Quote:
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry
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Outside my window…Lots of snow on the ground - looks so peaceful and I’m watching all the birds fight for the birdseed on my feeders and on the ground - so cute!.
I am thinking…about if I really want to start exercising and then thinking that I’d much rather eat a pop tart!
From the learning rooms…our youngest got a whole library of books for her birthday this weekend so I’d imagine that for the most part we’ll be doing a lot of reading, hopefully some more sewing and then add in some snow shoeing! We’re also going to do a little study of the biblical feasts and holy days.
I am thankful for…my husband who has an incredibly stressful job but comes home smiling every night (for the most part)!
From the kitchen…yesterday afternoons fellowship feast with some friends from church meant lots of time in the kitchen on Saturday and Sunday. Perhaps it’s time for another loaf or two of challah bread…. girls?
I am wearing…still in my snuggli - still debating that whole exercise thing which will determine what I change into after I finish typing this.
I am reading…“All God’s Children and Blue Suede Shoes“. I’ve read this before but picked it up again because I was looking for something to read and remember I enjoyed this one.
I am hoping…that we really can do some snowshoeing today before the rain comes and turns all that pretty snow into ice!
I am creating…nothing. HELP!
I am hearing…the heater trying to heat our house - and remarkably, nothing else except my own typing!
Around the house…it’s pretty tidy because we had guests yesterday - always a nice feeling on a Monday morning.
One of my favorite things…is singing Psalms around the piano with family and friends. We did that yesterday and it sounded beautiful.
A few plans for the rest of the week…catching up on life, working on my websites, hanging with my girls
Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you… my baby turned 15 years old yesterday!
I don’t usually show my emotion much. Granted I’ll tear up at a good spot in a movie or when one of my friends at church is sharing her heart, etc., but I rarely just outright start crying. In fact, I’ve found that for the most part because I’ve been one to kind of hold in emotion all my life that I actually have a hard time letting it out when I probably should.
That’s why yesterday’s “incident” took me by total surprise.
A little history to set up the story. I’ve always loved to sing. In junior high and high school I was in choir, etc., and was always told I had a nice voice. Singing in front of people for solos or duets, however, scared me to death. I would do it, but not without puking sessions beforehand and shaky knees during the actual event. Although I dreamed of being able to belt it out any and everywhere, my best audience was always the car windshield (even the shower wasn’t safe cuz the family might hear).
Fast forward to the recent past with two daughters who have gorgeous voices and who, thankfully, have been exposed to sharing their talents since they were too little to know that they could be nervous about such things. (My oldest still does get nervous but she never shows it beyond telling us … i.e., no puking). As they’ve grown I’ve had opportunities to sing to them when they were little, sing with them in the car and at home, teach them how to sing in harmony, etc. It’s been a joy. We sing hymns in 4 part harmony together as a family (I’m taking on the tenor role - not always easy). It’s a dream come true for me - to sing with my kids.
We visit a retirement home each week and usually about once a month the girls plan a little program for them where they sing, play the piano and read scripture, poems and other things. The proud mama taxi driver (the one who gets them there and back) loves it - and yes, I tear up ever time they start to sing. It’s just so beautiful and I’m so proud.
This week they were trying out a new song they’re doing with some other youth from our church and asked me to jump in and sing the 3rd part of the 3 part harmony so they could sing it for the folks. I was fine with it, honored that they asked me and thrilled at the thought of standing and singing with my two beautiful chanteuses. We practiced and it sounded pretty good. I was ready.
Surprisingly yesterday morning I was only a little bit nervous. The folks at the home are our good friends and they appreciate everything we do - even if I was completely out of tune they would have loved it so the usual fear didn’t really enter my mind so much. I got up there with the girls and we started singing. The first two notes were pretty good.
But then it happened. I could feel my eyes start to water ever so slightly. “Oh crap, I’m tearing up.. I’m not going to cry.” Three notes later, more tears. “Just keep singing, you’ll be fine.” (Smile, sing, turn, smile, tear, sing). I looked over and two of the ladies watching had tears in their eyes too. I lost it. We got through verse one and the chorus and by about mid verse two I was a basketcase. The emotion caught in my throat and I was undone. I felt so horrible for my precious girls and there I stood, mouthing I’m sorry and looking like a …. doofus. They graciously finished the song… I tried to jump in again toward the end and squeaked. It just made it worse. How embarrassing.
I walked into the hall and let it out. My sweetie girl came over and gave me a hug and said “It’s ok mom”. So forgiving.
I still can’t believe that with so little notice I could go from composed, got it all together mother to a blubbering puddle like that, especially given my lack of emotion history. Ugh. I know it’s God just humbling me - or telling me to stick to my role as proud Mama taxi driver. Unfortunately the lovely self critic in me will relive the incident over and over along with about 200 other doofus moments from my life that come to mind whenever I’m feeling a little less than confident.
I hate it when I can’t think of a good title for a blog post. Oh well, maybe by the time I’m done typing the actual post here I’ll come up with something so fantastically fabulous that it will make these first two lines disappear. If they’re still here when you’re reading this then it will answer the question that I’m confident is running through your mind right now: “What kind of lame title for a blog post is THAT?”
Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I can continue on with my thoughts and you all can attempt to move your eyes down past that ugly, lame title to the meat of this post, which is why you’re all here anyway, right? Right.
The girls and I went to Costco today to get some fruit for a fruit salad that we’re bringing to a friend’s house tomorrow. Costco is an interesting place - you walk in and there’s this long line of HUGE — and I mean HUGE TVs all playing …something or other - usually sports. And, without fail, in front of one or two or 10 of those TVs is … a man. A man drooling. A man drooling, a lot.
It’s usually about 3 steps into the store that my oldest daughter will say “Mom, how many dads will we see buying TVs today do you think?” Because she knows… we frequent Costco probably at least once every two weeks and every time - or almost every time - some mini van or SUV is parked at the front door while we’re leaving with a couple of Costco guys trying to cram one of these monsters in.
As I was driving home this post came to mind today - actually it comes to mind a lot after the Costco run. And it has to do with Marriage and the monster… the TV monster.
When I was single one of my dear friends married the love of her life. At one of their bridal showers they played one of those games where everyone had to give their “best piece of advice” to the couple to insure wedded bliss for all eternity. I asked my friend, about 5 years into her marriage, which piece of advice from that day was the best of the best. She didn’t even hesitate a second: “Throw the TV away for the first year of marriage.”
WHAT? Like don’t watch it during dinner you mean or only watch on the weekends or? “No,” she said, “We threw our TVs away. We didn’t even have them in the house. It was the very best thing in the world for our marriage - guaranteed.”
Radical eh?
Think about it though and it makes a whole lot of sense. Once the pomp and ceremony of the wedding day are over it’s really time to get to know each other - really. That’s a little hard if the big screen is sitting there ready to engage the senses 24/7. Without the lure of the TV a new couple is forced to …. GASP … actually communicate with each other. And that’s exactly what my friend said. “It was hard for the first 2 weeks,” she told me. “We both were raised on TV and it would have been very easy to just turn it on and snuggle together and never say a word every night. Not that snuggling is bad but snuggling and talking to each other is even better.”
So after the year did they get the TV back right away? Yeah, they did. But they found they rarely turned it on. They really enjoyed each other’s company. They’d go for walks, have long candlelight dinners, play tennis, go to the local high school football games together, and do all kinds of fun stuff that you can do when you’re not staring at a screen. Hmmm… go figure.
So what do you think? Are they nuts?
Now I will say that I know VERY well that the idea of this will be a lot easier for the women to fathom than the men. My friend was fortunate because her hubs was at the shower where the suggestion was made and in his “I’ll do ANYTHING for you my future bride” moment, he agreed before he knew what hit him. But you can bet he’s a happy man now.
Some of you know we’re not much for the TV as a family. It hasn’t always been that way. I’ll write about that in another post…
My girls and I watched the movie Amazing Grace again last night. Here’s the trailer from YouTube:
I’m not a big fan of Hollywood - they tend to muck up a history to bump up entertainment value but in this case, I think they did really well.
Although the trailer says the movie is the story behind the song, that’s not really the case. Certainly the song’s author, John Newton, is an integral part of the story line of the movie and his history as a slave ship captain who repents during a violent storm at sea is the reason for writing the song. But the movie is really the history of Wilberforce and his fight to end the slave trade.
I don’t remember learning much about William Wilberforce during my school days. In fact, I don’t think I learned about him at all. We’ll be studying more about him now in our homeschooling adventure in the days to come because here is a man who truly changed the world for the better. I’d encourage you to run to your library and borrow the movie or rent it.
Better yet buy it from Amazon and watch it a few times. The second time we watched we found new insights about the supporting characters that we missed in the first pass. I found that I went from liking the movie to REALLY liking the movie enough to recommend it to others with a second viewing.
And, just for fun, here are the words to the song from that slave ship captain turned priest that we all know and love. Try to turn off the “tune” that automatically goes into your head and really read the words if you can - they’re powerful:
“Amazing Grace” (words from Wikipedia)
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!
Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.
John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779)
My hymnbook has another verse:
When we’ve been there
ten thousand years
bright shining as the son
We’ve no less days to sing God’s grace
than when we’d first begun
And then, even for more fun, here’s Amazing Grace as it should be sung!
I was inspired by Deb over at Network Blogging Tips to write blog posts with lists. Plus it helps that’s she’s having a little contest to go along with it!
So today I thought I’d list some of my favorite hymns. I’ve told you all before how much I love the old traditional hymns. I grew up singing them in church and then we kind of transitioned away as we went to other churches to praise choruses, etc. Now we sing hymns again with the folks at our retirement home and attend a church that sings hymns again. I just love them. They’re rich in doctrine and really focus on God rather than on us. Great stuff.
So here are my top five hymns for today:
1. It is Well With My Soul - even the story behind why that hymn was written is good. When you know the story, the words take on even more meaning and richness. I love the last verse that starts: “And Lord, haste the day when Thy Face shall be sight. The clouds be rolled back as a scroll…”
2. How Great Thou Art - Powerful hymn. When I worked at the ranch in Colorado we’d end our program in the meadow singing this song with the mountains surrounding us and the sun going down. The gospel in a verse: “And when I think, that G-d His Son not sparing, sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in. That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing, he bled and died to take away my sin. Then sings my soul, my savior G-d to thee, how great Thou art, how great Thou art…”
3. Trust and Obey. Although this one doesn’t have the rich melody of the others, the words of trust and obey come to mind all the time. “Trust and Obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”
4. Wonderful Grace of Jesus. Another one that’s a bit more lively than rich but just hearing this one sung in church brings me joy. Maybe it’s the way the harmonies are written… it’s just a great song.
5. Joy to the World. I’m not sure why this hymn is only sung in December -
“He rules the world with truth and grace, and makes the nations prove the glories of His righteousness and wonders of His love…”
I have many more I can list but that’s a good start! Do you have any favorite old hymns? I’d love to hear!
So today I had a “situation” that I personalized WAY too much. I know I’m not supposed to do that, but I did and no amount of saying to myself “don’t personalize this so much” didn’t help. I wish I could type out the whole story but it would be too hard to explain and now that I’m “over it” it would just bring it all up again and …. well you know.
So - bottom line. I was dealing with a person who was not thinking logically, who based a bad decision on a non-existent premise and then blamed me by saying it was something I said that pushed her decision - something I never said. Make sense? No of course not. Let me distill it down further then… dumb person, stupid decision, didn’t listen to me - all wise person that I am.
Ok, so after rehashing it in my head 2.7 million times, complaining about it to a friend who understood the situation , rehashing it again another thousand times and more I decided I needed to find SOMETHING to distract me.
Voila! The Lord provided the wood man. Up he drives with a face cord of cherry logs and dumps them in my driveway! Whoo hoo. It’s stakin’ time.
The girls were busy with their schoolwork so rather than employ them as my servant girls I decided to dig into the pile myself. It’s amazing how therapeutic some heavy logs and exercise can be. First I was imagining stupid people with each log as I pile them into the neat stack in the garage. Each trip back and forth gave me new insight into their pig headed ideas and why I was much more brilliant than they! By about half way through the pile I was tired but … had pretty much worked through the entire event and actually kind of liked the person who I had earlier thought was stupid. Still not a wise decision in my opinion, but I could understand it a bit more.
By the time the pile was almost gone, I wasn’t even thinking about it anymore and actually humming hymns in my head. Ah fresh air does a body good.
The girls came out and helped with the last half of the pile, thankfully, and we got it all stacked and ready for the cold days ahead, er, next winter, er just in case.
So I was all better and frustration was gone.
Until… I finished this post but wanted to add a few things so I left it in draft and went to the post office and grocery store. At the PO, the girls stayed in the car and some lady drove up next to us and slammed her car door into our car, ignored their surprised looks and kept walking. I came out and she came out after me (she must have been in a real hurry), and as I was starting to back up she crams her van into reverse and slams on the gas ahead of me. Thankfully I saw it and stopped before we crashed.
