Bitterness and Boundaries - Part 2
Yesterday I stared a post on working on your marriage and it was just getting long and the words weren’t flowing the way I wanted them to. I did end up posting it, but I feel like it was just kind of … blah.
So I thought I’d continue it here and more in the future and just hope that it’ll make a bit more sense. But more importantly I hope it will encourage those of you who are struggling to not give up and to work toward a strong, happy, fulfilled marriage for the long haul!
First a couple of general things for those of you who are out of that honeymoon phase of your marriage and kind of settling into a rut or worse:
1. Let it go. Keep in mind that your husband probably is not sitting around during the day at the office thinking things like “hmmm… I know she’d probably like it if I’d come home early but you know what, I think I’ll just stay around here and work a bit longer just to drive her nuts.” Chances are pretty good that work got consuming and time just got away from him. He’s probably also not thinking something like: “Well, I know I should probably put the garbage out now, but darn it, I just don’t feel like it so I’ll act like I’ll forget so I don’t have to do it.” Nope, again, he probably just… forgot! Let it go. Love him anyway!
2. Thank him. Say thank you for things! This is sometimes the hardest thing - especially if you’ve been married more than 7 years or so. You kind of forget and get used to stuff. Thank him for providing financially for you. Thank him for working so darn hard so you can stay home with the kids during the day. Thank him for coming home early. Thank him for taking out the garbage!
3. The 10 second kiss. Next time hubby walks in the door from a long day at work, kiss him and hold it for 10 seconds - AND COUNT! 10 seconds is a looooong time and he’ll probably be very surprised… and very happy!
4. Appreciate him. Dwell on his good traits. Think about them intentionally. Look back on the reasons you married him in the first place and sigh when he walks buy that you get to spend the rest of your life with him. And then tell him what you were thinking! 
I’m not saying spend all day in la la land and pretend nothing is wrong… just change your thinking a bit every once in a while and make the effort on YOUR part to make changes. You’ll be amazed.
19. March 2008 at 8:28 am :
Very true Annette, spoken like a woman who has a good marriage
19. March 2008 at 11:00 am :
Love this post, Annette!! They are simple steps but ones that can make a difference.
19. March 2008 at 2:48 pm :
Oh gosh….do I have to do it!!!!
22. March 2008 at 6:07 am :
Amen! This is a great post. I am currently doing a major “study” on marriage. I am currently reading “Every Woman’s Marriage” by Shannon and Greg Ethridge and it is fabulous! Great blog, Annette.